Feather on A Clyde
by gleekymcgrey
Summary: Snow knew just how unwanted and unloved Emma felt, and it was her sworn duty to change that. Snow wished she can whisper into Emma's ears how she was their happy ending, and everything will fall back into place. But that was never the case; not for Emma Swan. {POST ECHO CAVE}. Credits to fanpop for the cover image.


**One shot regarding Snow's secret at the echo cave. Because I'm not over it yet. This one-shot is entirely on Emma's side of things. I don't hate Snow and I understand her wishes. So, I'm not saying Snow is selfish or that I am bashing her. :)  
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**Hope you like it! Let me know what you think.**

**All errors are mine. **

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**Well I would swim but the river is so wide**  
** And I'm scared I won't make it to the other side**  
** Well God knows I've failed but He knows that I've tried**  
** I long for something that's safe and warm**  
** But all I have is all that is gone**  
** I'm as helpless and as hopeless as a feather on the Clyde**

**Feather on the Clyde, The Passenger**

Emma toyed with the twig on her finger, setting the tip on fire one minute, blowing it off with her breath the next. And the cycle went on, and on, and on. There were many ways to use magic, but anger? Regina was right. Anger was the easy way out. It worked faster, and it suit her best. Tonight, she had enough of it to burn the whole island to the ground. But she concentrated on the innocent, little twig.

She watched as David dropped more wood on the burning heap, smiling ever so often in between stolen glances at his wife. Emma thought back to the time when he was just David Nolan who worked at the animal shelter who couldn't stop feeling sorry for himself and the pain he had caused the shy school teacher.

David and Mary Margaret were doomed for all eternity.

But the curse broke, and they had another chance. Everything was put behind them, and as if they picked up where they left off, they started working on their happy ending again.

_And that, is how they stay so infuriatingly optimistic. The 'we always find each other' crap suit them well_, Emma thought. Just how did she miss the family heirloom?

"I feel it. We're going home soon, Emma." A voice broke though the noise of the jungle surrounding them. Snow sat down beside Emma, fighting the urge to lean into her daughter's shoulders. God, she wanted to hold her not so little baby girl. But she'd take anything she'd get; and if one sentence is all Emma could give her, Snow would be happy for it.

"Sure. We just have to find a way out of this doomed island without being killed by a bunch of teenagers." Emma replied, bitterness tainting her voice. She got to her feet. As much as she didn't want to upset her mother, she knew she'd end up doing just that if she stayed. "I'm hungry. I think I'll grab some berries and…"

"Emma?" Snow stood up. She couldn't—_wouldn't_—let Emma get away again.

"What?!" Emma stopped in her tracks. She didn't mean to shout, let alone get everybody's attention. But it was too late. All eyes were on her; but it was the tears quickly forming in her mother's that had been all too unbearable. She cleared her throat, and lowered her voice. "What do you want?"

Snow had enough. Hadn't she apologized enough? Doesn't Emma really understand why they had to give her up? "Emma, when?!" she took one step closer to her daughter, "When are you going to start letting us in? Just tell me, Emma. Talk to me, and tell me what we must do for you to forgive us. Tell me now, because…"

Emma didn't realize she had been holding her breath until she exhaled deeply. "Because you're what? You're tired?"

"Emma, it's been almost a year since we found each other!" she raised her voice, fury radiating in her body. "I love you. I've apologized. I'm not giving up on you. Not ever. But Emma, I've been…" she brought a hand to Emma's cheek, only to have it shrugged.

"Trust me, I get it." Emma stepped back, having no intention to be touched or held, whatsoever. "I'm tired of me, too, _mother_."—she spat, and what could have been the sweetest word Snow could ever have the chance of hearing came out as bitter as her daughter's words.

"All my life, I've been tired of not being enough. I was used to not being enough!" Her voice was soft, all the more painful for a mother to hear. "I was used to families taking me back to the freaking system because they realized I'm not who they wanted me to be." She swallowed every last bit of emotion, and it was harder when she had to watch the streaming tears on Snow's cheeks. "But I found you and David, and I thought I'd finally be enough. Twenty eight years of being alone made me the _damaged goods_ that I am, but I was hoping—god, wishing and begging—this time, I'd be enough. I wished that for once, I'd be all you ever wanted."

Emma resented herself for sounding so selfish, but it was the truth.

Snow's breath caught in her throat. All these time after the cave, she hadn't thought of the consequence of her secret. Perhaps she had been too preoccupied to think about anything because she was too angry at David. She missed the pain in her daughter's eyes the moment the confession left her lips. "Emma, if you could just give us a second chance…"

"I'm sorry." She resigned, a rogue tear escaping the corner of her eye. "But I can't. And as much as it hurts, no matter what you say and how I try hard not to think of it this way, it still sure as hell feels a whole lot like being replaced. But you and David can still have a chance with what you missed, and I know you'll have your happy ending; _a happy ending I can't give you_."

That's what all it took for the dam to break. In that moment, she felt the most vulnerable she had ever been. There was a reason why she didn't let her feelings out in the open. She didn't like feeling weak. "Just as I know you're not going back to Storybrooke with me." She choked on the words, much like a three year old deprived of a sweet treat. "You're not going back with me."

Snow's heart broke. Had Emma been thinking about this all these time? Did her actions speak louder than words? _Did she really think I'm going to let anything separate us again?_ Nothing was going to break this family. Not even an all cure water with a dark twist.

"What did I expect? I was never one to be in a family, anyway."

Emma walked away, trying her best not to cry out loud and curl on the warm earth like a baby, leaving Snow speechless at her wake.

Snow knew just how unwanted and unloved Emma felt, and it was her sworn duty to change that. There was too many things she wished she could tell Emma. She could tell her over and over again just how loved she was, even before she was born. She wished she could tell her that she was everything to them, and how she would always be enough. Snow wished she can whisper into Emma's ears how she was their happy ending.

But right now, she was left to stand in the middle of their camp; left to watch her daughter disappear into the jungle.


End file.
